The Fifth Commandment

The Fifth Commandment

Exodus 20:12

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.”

Obeying the fifth commandment is, in many ways, the easiest and yet the most difficult of all the commandments. For many of us, we love our parents and are grateful for everything they have done for us. But let’s get real for a moment—I’m going to take a step down a path we rarely travel with this one.

We live in a fallen world. Not all families are functional or healthy. Not all of us have good parents. I have often been asked, “How do I honor a parent who has hurt or abused me?”

Let’s start with this: honoring someone is not the same thing as agreeing with them, or even being obedient to them. Honoring can look different for each of us. For some, it may mean praising and celebrating a wonderful mom or dad. For others, it may mean praying for the strength to forgive. Some of us simply need the courage to love in spite of everything that has been done.

So, we honor our parents not because they deserve it, but because God commands it. This is how grace works. We grow when we extend grace and mercy.

Jesus tells us to love—that’s what He is all about. We are told to love even our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us. But He does not require us to be fools. We are not expected to embrace what is evil.

In 1 Timothy 5, Paul wrote that we are to honor our teachers, yet false teachers were harshly condemned in Scripture. In Romans 13, we are told to honor our governing authorities, but for the apostles, that obedience ended when rulers commanded them to disobey God.

Acts 5:29

“But Peter and the apostles answered, ‘We must obey God rather than men.’”

Here is the point: God’s desire is that we honor those who gave us life. He is glorified when that happens. But He also knows how hard that is in a broken world. Praying for your parents is one of the best ways to show them honor. We will never go wrong if we start there. Love, and pray.

Proverbs 4:23

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.”